Now please excuse me as I attempt to erase this from my brain forever with the judicial use of whiskey. They do say it kills braincells so here’s hoping.

Can anyone explain why he’s such a big hit? Please? I’m not even being sarcastic here, I really want to know!

The kid’s like what? 12?

ok, apparently he’s 16 (yeah, google and I go waaay back),  but still… it’s somehow disturbing to me that a boy whose voice is only just beginning to crack is singing songs with lyrics like:

“For you, I would have done what ever
And I just can’t believe we ain’t together
And I wanna play it cool, But I’m losing you
I’ll buy you anything, I’ll buy you any ring
And I’m in pieces, Baby fix me
and just shake me til’ you wake me from this bad dream”

Seriously, what the heck is a kid that age even doing singing about eternal love or hinting at the idea of marriage? Or am I missing something in his reference to “any ring” in that line? Does he mean like a Promise Ring (aaaaaw), because Honey, that’s not “any ring” you know… and you really shouldn’t go talking about it if you can’t deliver.

But we’re getting of the topic here…where was I? Lyrics. right…

Ok, so lets assume you think I’m putting too much importance on lyrics here (which I really hope is not the case, because hello! they’re a part of the song! If you don’t have something worthwhile to say, hum!)

You: “L, lyrics are not the only part of a song.”

Me: “Ok, I admit that, but I’m sorry, where exactly is the ground-breaking, awesome, never heard anything like it before, music to these supposed “songs”?

Did it get lost in the mail? Did he have to just go with whatever old tunes were lying around and stitch ‘em into a brand new “unique” piece of music? “

You: “…”

True story.

And lastly, the reason for why I thought he was about 12… he looks about 12! Which I guess is pretty appealing to girls between the ages 8 and 11. And that leads me to seriously wonder, is the age dynamic in the world getting thrown for a loop? when did 8-12 year olds start defining popular culture? There must be BILLIONS of them out there, skewing the popularity graphs, or we wouldn’t all be forced to listen to this bubble-gum sounding, but underlyingly icky crap all the time!

Somehow the visual I’m getting here is a bit Children of the Corn-ish… creepy. *shudder*

Now don’t start on at me that “the books are just brilliant”, and “the movies are sooo dreamy” and “oh. my. god! Robert Pattinson is like the hottest thing ever!” coz please.

What’s so hot about Robert Pattinson? The boy perpetually looks like he needs a bath. Taylor Lautner’s much better looking, but I feel creepy even just typing that, because, well, he’s a baby!

Also, on the subject of Edward (and yes, I do realise I’m probably going to get hate mail for this). I hate to break it to you twinkies, but he’s just not sexy.

Yes, I HAVE read the books, and “icy, perfect lips”; not something I would be into having pressed to my cheek thanks. And can I just mention, cold marble is no fun to lean against when you already live in “the rainiest place in the world”.

Really.

Maybe its just that I prefer my Vamps a little less wimpy and a bit more twisted. I always did like Spike more than Angel.

Oh, while we’re on the subject of twisted, doesn’t anybody else find some of the undercurrent in the books a bit disturbing?

Maybe Stephenie Meyer didn’t mean them to be read by 12 year olds, but that does seem to be the average age of the girls who are totally in love with these books; the movies are rated PG13… and yet, there’s the entire creepy menage thing going on! Other than that, I really don’t like the idea of all those little girls out there using Bella as a role model.

She’s always depressed (in fact, she seems to be making Chronic Depression cool! which just make me uncomfortable), she has suicidal tendencies (which she disguises as Adrenalin Junky-ness), and she isn’t in the least bothered by the fact that her boyfriend is a total creepy stalker perv! The watching her sleep thing every night? So. Not. Cool!

Any Buffy fans out there (which I totally admit to being) would know that when Angel goes all bad and turns into Angelus he does pretty much the same thing. And the whole point of that was that it was such a totally creepy thing to do! No one thought it was in the least bit romantic. Which I can’t help but point out, is sane! It is NOT romantic to have someone stare at you while you sleep!

Ugh! I think I need to stop with this topic. Writing about it is wigging me out, and I need to get to bed since I have a 10am meeting tomorrow.

So let me leave you with this since I pretty much agree with his opinion, even if he does have the cracked (see chauvinistic) idea that all women think the same way and like the same things.

The title explains the premise pretty clearly I think. What I’ve been stuck on is where to start. so I’m just going to leap into it. But not today – I did mention the busy thing right?